Red Lipstick: Because I Feel Like It.

A couple of minutes before typing this post, I took a break from my computer, got my red lipstick from my purse and put it on. I’d been in my room almost the whole day, I only went out to grab something from the caf. So all I had on was a big sweater, nothing special. Certainly nothing that deserves red lipstick. So why did I put my lipstick on? Because I felt like it, because I don’t have to look good only when I’m going to be seeing other people, and because I’m the only one who can decide whether or not I need some makeup at any moment.

It occurred to me while I was putting it on that most girls would probably have put on the lipstick before they went to the cafeteria, not after they got back. These days, I see so many girls who are obsessed with how they look, girls who think they are too ugly, too fat, too thin, too short, or even too tall. It breaks my heart because these girls don’t see the true beauty in themselves. They go on and on about these so called flaws, and society just reinforces them.

Of course everybody neglects to remind the thirteen year old girl that the acne on her face which she is freaking out about is completely  normal. When was the last time you saw a celeb with a pimple? What, did every celebrity just magically gain great skin?

My roommate recently posted a girl’s before/after picture on Instagram. The great thing about this picture was that it wasn’t just your typical “lost weight” before/after picture. The before picture was of a girl who previously had an eating disorder and was so thin. The after picture was of the same girl, she had gained more weight. In my opinion, she looked beautiful! But of course we live in this society, and there was someone who commented on the picture saying the girl was now fat. See, I’m not a violent person, but I really wanted to punch the person who made that comment in the face.

When I was younger, you never had to worry about being fat. Now, increasingly, 9- and even 10-year olds worry about their weight. I don’t have any problem with being healthy. So if a 9-year old is worrying about her weight because she’s legit too overweight, fine. But if she’s worry because she wont be able to fit into size 2 jeans, then that disturbs me. Even babies these days are held to this standard of being thin or fat. The other day, I saw a reply to a twitter picture of North West, Kim K’s daughter. The reply said something like “That baby is just fat.” My reaction to this of course was “What on earth? She is a baby. How can you call a baby fat?”

I see clothes these days labeled “size 00.” Why is a woman expected to fit into clothes that are sized “double nothing”? This makes no sense to me.

So unless we teach our daughters, nieces, cousins, sister, and friends to be comfortable with their bodies, society is going to teach them otherwise.

We have to teach them to be okay with being slim, because society will teach them to get thinner.

We have to teach them to be okay with being big, because society will convince them that they are too fat.

We have to teach them that they are beautiful no matter what, because society will try to convince them that they aren’t.

And of course, let’s teach them to wear red lipstick when they feel like it, not when society tells them to.

**xx Prettywitgla33es

 

It’s My Birthday!!!

Hey guys!

So today, March 16th, is my birthday. This is the first time I’m spending my birthday alone; without any family member. I thought I was going to hate it, but so far I’m enjoying every single moment. I’ve gotten numerous happy birthday wishes from friends and family. One of my friends even made a collage and wished me happy birthday in my native language!

Even though I’m so far away from my friends and family, they have made me feel loved on this day. I feel so blessed and grateful to have all those people in my life. And I’m also grateful to see another year in my life!

5 Stages of Failure (Repost From Isa Adney)

Hey Guys!

I found this post from one of my Facebook friends, and fellow Phi Theta Kappa Alumni, Isa Adney. I related to it, and I thought you might enjoy reading it. So here it is:

The 5 Stages of Failure: How I felt when Harvard said no

 Author’s Note: I decided to share the personal experience below because of all the e-mails I’ve received over the years from students who’ve failed a test or a class or come across an obstacle MUCH greater than not getting into a dream graduate program. This is for you. Do not give up. 

If you’ve been following this blog you know I recently interviewed as one of the top 50 for Harvard’s EdLD program in Boston last week. It seemed as if I was one of the youngest being considered by far, and thus I did not make the top 25 who were accepted into the program. I found out last Friday night and to say I was crushed is an understatement.
It’s been 5 days and I feel like I’ve been going through something that reminded me of the 5 stages of grief, but for failure. I’m no psychologist so I am completely making this up, but here’s what happened to me:

Stage 1: Embarrassment The first thing I said when I found out was: oh my gosh I’m going to have to tell everyone I didn’t get in. I’m so embarrassed. 

Stage 2: Denial Maybe they made a mistake. Yes! I’ll get an e-mail and they’ll be like, “sorry Isa, even though we’re Harvard we just don’t have it together and sent you the wrong email, you actually DID get accepted.” That e-mail did not come. 

Stage 3: Self-loathing Even though rationally I know failure is integral to success and have read dozens of books on how to bounce back from failure, none of it worked in that moment.  For example, platitudes like “you can get bitter or get better” went through my head. I knew I would get better. I knew I would come out of this. I knew I was still dedicated to my mission of helping students break the cycles of poverty through education. But in that exact moment I still felt bitter.  And I questioned my worth completely. These questions consumed me: what am I doing? why am I trying so hard? what made me think I was good enough for this? should I just give up? have I set my sights too high? am I just the worst? am I not cut out for this? am I even making a difference?  This is the ugliest place to be, and for a few days I felt absolutely numb. It’s a place I knew I could not or would not stay, but it seems impossible not to visit, even for a moment, when failure happens.

Stage 4: Acceptance of Encouragement Though embarrassment is what I felt first, I knew I needed to get the telling of my failure over with.  I emailed the handful of people who directly helped me get to the interview process with their advice and recommendation letters. I e-mailed close friends and family who’d been encouraging me all along. And I made the dreaded Facebook announcement. Then what happened next honestly shocked me. People said the kindest things that reaffirmed my worth and future, including the wonderful Harvard professors and current EdLD students who’d offered their gracious help in my application and interview process. Now of course, you know I’m the first to tell anyone that college acceptance does NOT define you. But like all advice, it’s easier said than felt, especially in the depths of initial failure.  I decided to sit back and just soak up what others were saying. When I was in the self-loathing stage it would have been easy to just say “oh they’re just being nice” or “what they’re saying isn’t actually true.” But instead I decide to let the encouragement wash over me.  I decided to believe what people were saying was true, even if I didn’t feel it in the moment.  Stage 5: Hope Because of other people’s encouragement I began to hope. I wish I could say I had the strength all by myself and didn’t need anyone to help me overcome this failure. But that’s just not true. And in fact, my book is all about why other people – peers, professors, and professional mentors – are integral to success. We all need other people to tell us what they see in us in the dark times when we just cannot feel it ourselves.  So let yourself go through the process, whatever that means for you, but don’t do it alone. Tell people about your failures. Ask them for advice. Use failure to think about what you really want and other ways you can still get there.  What also helped me hope again was my mission statement: helping students break cycles of poverty through education. While I’d failed at one of my goals that I thought would help me get there (i.e. getting into Harvard) I knew this wasn’t the only route available. I could come at it from other directions, and that is just what I will do.  Failure is not easy at all. Even knowing that pressing on after failure is a requirement for success doesn’t make it any easier in the moment. In fact it’s even harder than all the books prepared me for.  In the moments when I felt heartbroken, hopeless, and numb I felt like I was also failing at “failing forward,” which made it even worse.  I think it’s important to acknowledge the sadness. I no longer believe that people who find success after failure are those who never go to that dark place – I think the key is just that they don’t stay there.  Fail hard. Fail again. Build your strength. Don’t do it alone. Act even when you don’t have motivation. And write down what really moves you – that thing you really want, that you’re really working for; that thing that moves you, excites you, motivates you. That thing that will keep you going even when your immediate goals don’t work out.  Have you written it down yet? Go ahead. Do it now. Read it every morning. And keep going. 

 

 

 

Hope you enjoyed reading that. Isa also has a blog, you can check it out at http://www.communitycollegesuccess.com/  I highly recommend her posts.

She is also the author of a book titled Community College Success.

College Tip #9: What to do on spring break

Hey! Hope you guys are doing great?!
Today, i’m going to be giving you some ideas on what to do for spring break.
1. Stay in school: As an international student, I know that some people dont have the luxury of going home for spring break, and they have to stay in school. Most campuses close their cafeteria and other campus operations, so if you’re going to be staying on campus, you should make plans. Connect with other people who would be staying on campus, and look for nearby places to eat and things to do together.
2. Go home: As boring as this might sound, it would be lovely to be with your family, and eat some really good food for a change. It also helps you to get some good sleep. However be careful not to completely disrupt your sleep schedule.
3. Go somewhere fun: Most people choose Florida, but there are many other places you can go. Do some research on places that will match your budget. You will be surprised at the options you find!

Whatever you end up doing, just make sure to relax and enjoy yourself before going back to school :-)

Thanks for reading!
**xx Prettywitgla33es

College Tip #8: What to do when you are bored on campus

Hey guys!

Hope your week went well?!

So I know that there are times when you are just bored with nothing to do. Instead of going to the mall (if your college town has one) or going to see a movie, I have a few tips on what you can do without spending much money.

1) Go to your college team games: Pick out a sport team in your school that you think you might like, and follow their games. I follow the basketball team in my school and attend their home games. If you think you wouldn’t like it, try it out you might be surprised that you actually like that sport. If you still don’t like it, keep going for the cute boys ;)

2) School events: Look out for posters around campus announcing events going on. You might find something that interests you. Plus most of the school events are sponsored using student activity fees, so you would be making good use of your money.

3) Friends, Roommates, Floor mates: Plan an event and invite everybody on your dorm floor. Chances are there are people looking for something to do too. It doesn’t have to be something big, maybe a game night or a tv night. You can even make it a potluck so that there is food, and you don’t have to spend lots of money.

I hope you find these tips useful. If you still can find anything to do after trying all these, feel free to go to the mall or watch a movie :)

Thanks for reading.

**xx Prettywitgla33es

College Tip #7: Preparing for Tests

Hey guys!

Hope y’all are doing good!

Today’s college tip is about preparing for tests. I had a couple of tests this week and I realized that people around me didn’t seem to be prepared for the tests, so I decided to write a post giving you guys some pointers.

1. Know your learning style: This applies not only to preparing for tests, but also succeeding as a student in general. When you know your learning style, you will be able to prepare for your test effectively. For example, auditory learners might want to get an audiobook copy of their textbooks, or even read aloud rather than reading silently.

2. Review: I know that the rule is to put in time to study for each course everyday outside the classroom. I also know that most regular students do not follow this rule. Even if you don’t review after each class, it is advisable for you to do so multiple times some days before your test. If you are used to having cramming sessions before your tests, your cramming would be a lot more effective with a little review before.

3. Set study priorities: When studying for a test, you should focus on the things that are most important. You can get clues on what is important by listening to your professor in class. Some professors also give out study guides, and that is a great tool to utilize. Also if you’re studying for multiple tests, concentrate more on the ones you are weak on.

4. Study groups: Some people find it easier to focus on studying if they are studying with other people. If you’re one of these people, find other people to study with. However, some other students study better alone. If you are a student like that, avoid study groups.

5. Get some sleep: The biggest mistake most students make is not getting any sleep before their tests. If you like studying at night, study two nights before your test, not the night before. Getting a good night rest helps your brain to be well relaxed and it makes it easier for you to remember the things you read.

I hope you find these tips useful. Feel free to ask me any questions you might have by commenting below.

Thank you for reading. Have a wonderful weekend!

**xx Prettywitgla33es

Test taking tips from other bloggers
Davidson Tutoring: http://davidsontutoring.wordpress.com/2014/01/09/study-skills-pointers-how-to-be-prepared-for-your-mid-terms/

College Tip #6: What To Do When You Have A Not-so-nice Professor

College Tip #6: What To Do When You Have A Not-so-nice Professor.

College Tip #6: What To Do When You Have A Not-so-nice Professor

Hello!
There are times when you register for a class, and on the first day of class you find yourself not liking the professor. Most people’s response to this situation would be to drop the class. However there are a couple of things you can do, and steps you can take to see if it gets better.
1. Go to class: As hard as this might sound since you don’t like the professor, you need to do it. Attending class regularly, and paying attention would often make difficult professors go a tad bit softer on you. Everybody likes it when people listen and pay attention to them. Trust me, that professor is not an exemption.
2. Go to their office hours: I know this also sound hard. It is more difficult to be alone with someone you don’t like. But this also helps. About 90% of students never go to see any of their professors during office hours. Being among the 10% that does gives you an advantage.
3. Make sure you are not the one with the problem: Sometimes, the professor might be nice, and you are just the problem. You need to make sure that you are being a good student, and not giving the professor a hard time.

If any of these tips don’t work, then you may consider dropping the class. Remember, if you stay in that class and you still don’t like the professor, there is a good chance that your grade would be lower than if you had taken the class with someone you like. Note, the drop in grade will not be the professors fault.

Hope these tips are helpful!
Thanks for reading!
**xx Prettywitgla33es

Updates- Visiting Nigeria, Transferring to Lycoming, Seeing snow for The first Time

Hello!
I’m sorry I’ve not posted anything in a while. I have reasons for that. I was in Nigeria for a month, spending the holidays with my family and friends. I was very glad to be back home and I really enjoyed it. Guess it’s true what they say; There’s no place like home!

Also, like I might have mentioned I was in the process of transferring from my old school last semester. Yes, I did like my old school but it was a community college. I finished my Associates Degree in December, 2013 (Yay!! :) ) So I had to transfer to a new school to work towards getting my Bachelors Degree. Although I didn’t get into the school I wanted, I got accepted into 6 good schools. The one I eventually chose to go to is a school in Pennsylvania, Lycoming College. I realize now that the only reason I wanted to go to that other school is because of the possibility of full financial aid which is rare for international students. Anyways, Lyco  not only has my major, they also have a minor I wanted which the other school didn’t have. They also have a good Pre-law program which is great since I’m planning on going to law school after graduation. So yeah, it all worked out perfectly.

Since I chose Lycoming, I had to move to Pennsylvania. I came back from Nigeria a week after school started so I moved the next day after I arrived in the US. I had so many things, so I couldn’t fly. My aunt drove me all the way to Pennsylvania from Florida. We left Florida at 6pm and we were on the road all night, and arrived at Lycoming at about 3pm the next day!  It’s been really cool though- I got to see snow for the first time!

Long story short, I’ve been really busy these past couple of weeks, and that is the major reason I’ve missed blogging.

I missed you guys!! :)

**xx Prettywigla33es

P.s watch out for College Tip #6 after this post

Merry Christmas!

Hey guys!

i just wanted to take the time to wish you a very merry Christmas. I hope you get the chance to enjoy the holidays. 

Have fun!

**xx prettywitgla33es